Ailing father able to stay home, for now

By Amanda Keister
The Daily Item

Sun, May 18 2008

— BEAVERTOWN -- When Chris Werner was a 17-year-old girl helping to care for her declining grandfather, she never imagined that, 20 years later, she and her family would be caring for her own father.
But that's what has happened.
For the past seven years, Chris and her husband, Bruce, along with their two children, Brandon, 19, and Danielle, 17, have been caring for Chris' 65-year-old father, who at age 58 suffered his first stroke.
"We know of two (strokes)," Chris said. "We question if he's had little ones, and he's had seizures."
Chris' parents, who live two doors away from her family in a housing development in Beavertown, asked that their names not be used in this article.
Chris' father has declined steadily since his first stroke, to the point where he can no longer be left alone, nor can attend to most of his own needs.
As he has worsened, Chris has taken family medical leave from her job as a mammographer at Evangelical Community Hospital and come March, she will officially go to part-time status.
"This is more important to me now," she said. "I think all of us, our main goal, obviously, is to keep him home. We don't want to put him in a nursing home."
It's a sentiment that goes back a generation to when Chris' grandfather, at about the same age Chris' father is now, also fell ill.
Chris, just 17 at the time, joined her parents and grandmother in the day-to-day caring for her grandfather, just as Danielle does now. He eventually died at home.
"I remember sleeping on her (grandmother's) living room floor for three months," Chris said.
These days, a typical day usually has at least two members of the Werner family making the short trip to Chris' parents' home to get her father out of bed and to the bathroom to be shaved and have his teeth brushed, then back to the bedroom to get dressed, to the kitchen for a hearty breakfast -- always eggs and bacon -- and then to his recliner to watch a hunting channel on television, which jars memories of a beloved hobby he can no longer take part in.
At night, another routine begins, which includes bathing him, dressing him and getting him into bed.
So far, the family has not taken advantage of any social services that may be able to help them, though they are considering an Area Agency on Aging evaluation to determine what services, particularly transportation to doctor's appointments, they may qualify for.
Chris and her mother plan to attend the Working Caregiver Initiative program, which will be held at 7 p.m.Thursday in the Boscov's plaza at the Susquehanna Valley Mall.
Chris' father is able to get around with the use of a walker, but he must be guided forward and followed behind by someone else to catch him in case he falls.
"Usually I'm in the lead and (Chris) or (my mother-in-law) is following," Bruce, a PennDOT employee, said.
Typically, though, there are no set jobs for any member of the Werner family when it comes to caring for their loved one. When something needs to be done, whoever is available just does it.
"You do the best you can," Bruce said.
While Danielle, a senior at Midd-West, was home on summer vacation, she spent her days with her grandmother. And Brandon, enrolled at Sunbury's Triangle Tech, spends his time away from class either caring for his grandfather, sitting with him, or taking him for rides in the family's Jeep.
Though only teenagers, Brandon and Danielle never complain about the responsibilities they've taken on.
"It's not bad," Brandon said. "Him and I always had a close relationship. He was always there when I was little. If I can help him, it doesn't bother me."
In fact, Danielle says the ordeal has made her closer to her grandfather. The man who used to focus most of his attention on Brandon -- his hunting and fishing buddy -- now tells Danielle how he misses and worries about her when she's away from him.
"She always gets high fives," Bruce says. "She's the only one who gets high fives."
Though Chris' father's care has become more involved as he ages, the family has no plans for him to leave home any time soon.
"He means a lot to us," Bruce said. "We want to keep him home."
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