A family by any measure

May 06, 2008 08:10 am

— MILTON — Kathy Beck loves talking about her kids.
She has pictures of her four boys scattered throughout her living room, bakes them cookies weekly, and boasts they do chores without being nagged.
You’d never know they weren’t her own — the four boys are her foster children.
Kathy, 45, and her husband Tim, 46, have fostered children in their Milton home for about four years, specifically for CONCERN Professional Service for Children, Youth and Families of Lewisburg the past two years.
And since May is designated as National Foster Care Month, the Becks and CONCERN staff members are urging others to look into foster parenting.
There simply aren’t enough foster homes right now, said Wanda Stump, who’s interning with CONCERN while earning her master’s degree.
The Becks looked into fostering after they were unable to have children. Kathy also said her best friend growing up was raised in foster care, and she played with other foster children living with her friend. These experiences inspired her to seriously consider becoming a foster parent.
In some ways, Kathy thought it would be easier to foster without having any biological children.
“We have none, so these are our kids,” she said of her foster children. “If you’re going to do it, you need to treat them like your own.”
And they do. The Becks go hiking and play basketball with the boys, and even give punishments when they misbehave.
But foster parenting can present many challenges, from first meeting the children, to gaining permission for their attendance on school trips.
“When we picked them up, it was nerve-wracking; I wanted to make the boys feel comfortable, but I didn’t know them,” Kathy said of the three brothers she and Tim took into their home last summer. “Sometimes it’s overwhelming.”
Children in foster care have often been abused or neglected or are rehabilitating from drugs, Stump said. Many retreat to their rooms rather than mingling with new foster parents as they adjust to their living situation. But the ultimate goal is to reunite them with their biological families as their parents set goals and meet requirements.
And when it comes to meeting biological parents, the Becks strive to treat them with respect.
“I could be there. I could be one of those parents in this situation. They still deserve respect,” she said.
Even after children are reunited with their birth parents, many continue to visit their foster parents. “When kids come back to visit, they look to see that their pictures are still in the living room,” Kathy said.
To the unknowing visitor, judging by her collection of pictures, it seems Kathy has raised a whole brood of children. So how does Kathy introduce her kids to strangers?
“It’s hard. They don’t want to be introduced as foster kids” but most people know we’re foster parents,” she said.
To become foster parents, the Becks were interviewed by CONCERN, received 21 hours of training, and had to attain FBI clearances. Today, like most foster parents, they receive compensation and reimbursements for the children’s clothing, activities and allowances.
And as if they’re not busy enough with the three siblings and teenage boy they foster, the Becks regularly meet with a care team of a case worker, family worker and other support staff to ensure everyone’s needs are being met.
But they’ve adjusted to being full-time foster parents.
“I call them ‘my kids’ and don’t even realize it,” Kathy said.
For more information on fostering, call CONCERN at 523-1297.

Photos

Tim and Kathy Beck, of Milton, play cards with three of their four foster boys. The Becks are helping to raise four foster boys, two 17-year-olds, a 14 year-old, and an 11-year-old.