Fifty two dinners out at fancy-schmancy restaurants, with tax and tip: $4,000.
Ten-day Caribbean cruise with airfare: $4,700.
Two-month winter vacation to Mexico including condo rental, airfare, food, beverages and entertainment: $8,000.
Dog boarding during the above vacation trips: $800.
Marriage counseling — 52 sessions: $5,200.
(A side note here ... the above five items may not seem directly dog-related, but they are if one is married to a non dog-lover and desires to remain so attached.)
I’ve listed costs related to bird dogs because they’re the only kind I’ve ever owned. I realize people own other kinds of dogs, although I’ve never really been able to figure out why, however the costs of ownership should be roughly comparable. Hollywood starlets owning snippy little ankle-biting, yipping machines should add several hundred thousand for diamond studded collars, cashmere doggie sweaters and designer doggie treats. Hollywood starlets don’t often read this column though. Too many big words.
Next week we’ll get into boats and fishing equipment. It may take a while to work up the courage to attack the firearms budget. I wouldn’t hold my breath.
Email comments to firstname.lastname@example.org