The Daily Item, Sunbury, PA

January 9, 2014

The Right Sign


For The Daily Item

— A farmer lived on a quiet, rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. It became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So he called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these tourists driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."        

      "What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.        

      "I don't care, just do something about these drivers."        

      So the next day the sheriff had the county go out and put up a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING. Three days later, the farmer again called the sheriff and said, "That sign didn't help a bit. They are still hitting my chickens."        

      So the next day, the county put up a sign that said: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY.

             Again, no change. So the farmer called and called, every day for three weeks. Finally, he told the sheriff, "Look, your signs are just not working. Mind if I put up one of my own?"

             The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, let's see if yours works better."

             He was willing to agree to anything to get him to stop those daily calls. Well, the sheriff got no more calls from the farmer. After three weeks, he decided to call the farmer and see how things were going.

             "Did you put up your sign?"

             "Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since. I've got to go. I'm very busy." And he hung up the phone.

             The sheriff thought to himself, "I'd better go have a look at that sign. There might be something there that WE could use to slow down drivers..."

             So the sheriff drove out to the farmer's house, and he saw the sign. It was on a whole sheet of plywood. Written in large, yellow letters were the words: SLOW: NUDIST COLONY.