The Daily Item, Sunbury, PA

December 21, 2013

Sign of the Times

For The Daily Item

---- —      - Plumber "We repair what your husband Fixed."

      - On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania "Don't sleep with a drip, call your plumber."

      - Pizza shop slogan "7 days without pizza makes one Weak."

      - At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

      - Door of a plastic surgeons office: "Hello, can we pick your nose?"

      - Sign at the psychic's Hotline "Don't call us, we'll call you."

      - At A Laundry Shop "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"

      - At a Towing Company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

      - Billboard on the side of the road "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

      - On an Electricians truck "Let us remove your shorts."

      - In a Nonsmoking Area " If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

      - On Maternity Room Door "Push, Push, Push."

      - At an Optometrists Office "If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."

      - On a Taxidermist's window "We really know our stuff."

      - In a Podiatrist's office "Time wounds all heels."

      - On a Butchers window "Let me meat your needs."

      - On a fence "Salesman Welcome, Dog food is expensive."

      - At a car Dealership "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

      - Outside a Muffler Shop "No appointment Necessary, we hear you coming."

      - Outside a Hotel "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

      - On a desk in a reception room "We shoot every 3rd salesman , and the 2nd one just left."

      - In a Veterinarians waiting room "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit ! Stay! "

      - At the Electric Company "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be."

      - On the door of a Computer Store "Out for a quick byte."

      - In a Restaurant window "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."

      - Inside a Bowling Alley "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

      - In the front yard of a funeral home "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

      - In a counselors office "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.