The Daily Item, Sunbury, PA

December 13, 2013

Famous Composers


For The Daily Item

---- —  Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project - an action docudrama about famous composers starring top movie stars. Sylvester Stallone, Steven Segall, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all present.

            Spielberg strongly desired the box office 'oomph' of these superstars, so he was prepared to allow them to select whatever composers they would portray, as long as they were very famous.

            "Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him."

            "Chopin has always been my favorite and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano" said Willis. 'I'll play him."

            "I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Segall. "I'd like to play him."

            Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid." Then, looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?"

            So Arnold says . . . . . . . .

            "I'll be Bach."