On an otherwise dreary day, we turn to the police blotter for entertainment. That is a dreary day.

But, it does not fail us. For there, we learn that you can euphemistically describe manure as rubbish.

As in if you put manure on someone’s land, that’s “scattering rubbish.”

Today’s lesson is brought to us by Michael Witner, 32, of Middleburg. Police allege he shoveled a load of horse manure onto land owned by Carson Bingaman, also of Middleburg.

Mr. Winter had been using the trailer to move his belongings out a rental property owned by Mr. Bingaman. How that led him to deposit the manure on the other guy’s land is not exactly clear. But he refused to clean it up. And he has been cited for his trouble.

-- Maybe this guy is hoping to get the Penn State student vote or something. Otherwise, the comments of Matt Shaner, a candidate for Congress, do not seem to make much sense.

The AP reports: “A real estate executive seeking an open congressional seat in central Pennsylvania acknowledged Thursday he had been drinking and was in no condition to drive when he crashed his car a year ago, then left the scene.”

Though, in his defense, he may just think that honesty is the best policy. Though, then it is difficult to know which version of his story to believe.

He allegedly told police “he had been drinking and probably was under the influence.”

Then he told the local newspaper that there was a misunderstanding and he had not been drinking before the accident.

Then he told The AP that, “I had too much alcohol to be driving.”

Regardless, he pleaded guilty to some traffic violations but was never charged with DUI in the case.

Mr. Shaner is running for the seat held by retiring U.S. Rep. John Peterson.

And he opposes tolling I-80. So, there’s that.