The Daily Item
Here in Pennsylvania we appreciate thrift in all things. Let those New Yawkahs spend their money on specialty stores and expensive wines; we’re happy with our hardware stores and a beer. Even in our speech, we don’t use words frivolously.
I heard of a man who went to the hospital after he nicked himself shaving, and said to the Pennsylvania Dutch doctor, “I can’t seem to get this bleeding to stop.” To which the wise doctor replied, “It’ll stop when it’s all.” You see? A more extravagant man might have said, “It’ll stop when it’s all done.” But why waste words? It’ll stop. When it’s all.
The Pennsylvania Dutch are known for their hearty work ethic, and let’s face it, talking takes time, time that could be spent working. However, cut back on enough words, and you have that much more time in your workday. Take the word with, for example. Why must it always be followed by another, time-sapping, energy-wasting word?
“We’re going to the hardware store. Are you coming with?” “I’m going for a beer. Want to go with?” Notice the streamlined, even freeing feel of this speech. Unclutter! Pare down! Breathe the air of sparseness. It’s nice to drop unnecessary words once in a while or, as the Pennsylvania Dutch say, vonct in a vile.