The Daily Item, Sunbury, PA

February 4, 2014

Florida (accidentally) banned all computers and smart phones in internet cafes

and other strange Florida laws

The Daily Item

— 1. The term “motor vehicle” was revised to exclude swamp buggies, deregulating the primary mode of transportation in the state.

2. (Repealed) It is illegal for a doctor to ask a patient whether they own a gun.

3. The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages. (No. 10 Constitutional Amendment Article X, Section 19 Ballot Title: Animal Cruelty Amendment: Limiting Cruel and Inhumane Confinement of Pigs During Pregnancy)

4. One may not commit any “unnatural acts” with another person. (800.02 Unnatural and lascivious act.)

5. Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.(823.01 Nuisances; penalty.)

6. Doors of all public buildings must open outwards. (823.06 Doors of public buildings to open outward.)

7. It is illegal to sell your children. (847.0145 Selling or buying of minors; penalties.)

8. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

9. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

10. It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

11. You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M

12. It is considered an offense to shower naked.

13. You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

14. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

15. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.