Kindergarten students in the clases of Miss Briskey and Mrs. Geise at Watsontown Elementary School offer up their theories about how the holiday turkey makes it to the dinner table:

Kameron Loreman

My dad shoots them but they run. The turkey gets dead and then it goes dead and all of that. You shoot it on the ground. And then you bring it into the house and take the feathers off. My dad signs papers with the feathers. Then you cook a turkey. You put it on the stove and then you put it on the stove. You cook it for two minutes. When the turkey cooks, I go in my bedroom and play games. My sister watches my dad and asks him if it’s done yet a lot of times. My dad puts stuff on it. Then my dad says “It’s ready!” Then my dad goes outside. If there are a lot of turkeys, he shoots them all and makes even more. Then I eat it all. I eat his bones. My favorite part is the gobble though, it tastes red.

 

Zachary Day

Army people shoot turkeys with guns and put them in baskets. They take the turkeys to the store and take the feathers off. I get my turkey from the store. I buy the reddest turkey. It is already dead because of the army people. My mom puts salt on the turkey. My mom puts the turkey in the oven for ten minutes. I know it’s done because my mom yells for me to come eat. I play with my dog. He does not eat turkey; he eats dog food.  I eat turkey with a fork. The turkey looks dead it tastes dead too.

Alexis Nicholas

The turkey walks into my house. Next somebody hits the turkey and kills it. My dad cuts the wings and legs off of the turkey and he eats them. My mommy cuts his head and goes all the way down to his bottom so he is in parts. She pulls out the guts. My mom cooks half of the turkey in a pan and my dad cooks the other half with a candle. The turkey cooks in a pan for 8 minutes. Then my mom puts the pan in the oven for one minute until it is on fire. My dad’s turkey gets on fire too but he blows it out. We sit down and clap our hands and say the pledge. Then we eat our turkey. We eat corn with a stick too!

Hailey Carper

The animal shop gives turkeys to the store. My mom calls the animal people in the store and they bring our turkey in a box. The turkey is alive but then they make it not alive because they burn it in the stove. The turkey is scared and tries to run away. We catch it with a net and shove it in the stove. We cook it with buttons. The oven tells us when the turkey is done. My mom and dad cut the turkey with a big knife. It would hurt the turkey but he is dead so he does not care. I have never eaten a turkey before. It will taste good.

 

Sean Brown

When people kill a turkey, they sell it to the Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart freezes the turkeys and puts them in a cart that says “For Sale”. There are only 6 turkeys for sale because they are so huge. Me and my mom walked up to the stand and thought the turkeys were boring. You can tie a string around the turkey and pull it behind a truck. The turkey will look like a robot. Me and my mom just put the turkey in a box. We push the turkey the whole way to the parking lot. I am strong. We carve the turkey and then cook it in the oven so it steams. If parts of it get burnt, we feed them to my dad. We set the table up and put all of the food on it. We put sprinkles on our pumpkin pie!

Ryan Sperl

We get our turkey from real turkeys that people kill. You take the feathers off and throw them away. Their feet turn into bones. I’m not sure what happens to the bones but I don’t eat them. I’m not sure why turkeys have beaks, but you cut them off too. You cook a turkey in the oven. It’s only in there for, maybe, five minutes. There is a big feast! I don’t remember any of this though; I must not have been born yet for Thanksgiving.

 

Isaac Sherman

We eat chicken on thanksgiving. I like the faces. They have beaks on their chins. One time at thanksgiving there were lots of chicken faces; my mom was scared but I liked it. Thanksgiving is yummy. I could eat it every day. I like thanksgiving best because people come over and do things for you so that you are thankful. That’s all I know about thanksgiving. The end.

 

Ben Dehler

Turkeys come from the woods. My dad shoots them. They look like a big bird with a red beard. We use a scraper to get off all of the feathers. We put them in our hats. We cut off the turkeys head then it dies again. We cut the legs off, they are silky and bloody. We put the legs in the oven for ten minutes. We get blood all over our house whenever we make turkeys. We suck out the blood from the turkey body with a vacuum cleaner. We empty the vacuum in a jar. We dump the blood in the woods. Once the blood is gone we cook the body in the oven for 10 degrees. The turkey is done when the oven beeps. Then we take the chicken out and eat it. It tastes like chicken turkey.

 

Mady Felix

Turkeys fly to the farm. The farmer kills the turkey with a gun and brings them to Wal-Mart. They look dead. The store takes the feathers off with a knife. The feathers are for sale at the store too. They take off the head and beard but the store does not sell them. Wal-Mart puts the turkeys in bags. Me and my mom pick out the best turkey. The best turkey is the shiniest. I don’t want to talk about turkeys really but I guess I will.

When we get home we cook it on the stove. I watch TV so I don’t know how it’s cooked. I guess my mom puts all kinds of ingredients in there. It cooks for a long time, like 45 minutes. I know when the turkey is done because my mom calls for me. Then we cut it up and eat it.  

 

Kaitlyn Raup

I get turkeys from the woods. My dad kills them. He uses a gun; it’s brown. He watches for them at the turkey feeder He traps them in a cage then he takes them home. They are dead, of course. The feathers all fall off when the turkey dies. The head and feet are still on. We cook them too. I like to eat them. If you eat the head and the feet, it tastes like a real turkey. My dad cooks the turkey outside with a smoker. A smoker is a black thing that smokes smoke out. It burns the turkey. The turkey cooks for 20 minutes until the turkey looks more burnt. We put the turkey in the middle of the table and we use forks and all eat it at the same time. I like to eat the belly best.

Karyssa Oxenrider

Daddy shoots the turkeys. I don’t know where turkeys live, but probably at a barn. He puts the dead turkey in his trunk. The turkey has a beak, head, and gobbler. He shaves it with his razor and shaving crème to get the feathers off. He cuts the head off and the guts come out of where his head was. We cut the legs off and eat the chicken off of them. We have a lot of chicken in the freezer, I love chicken! We grab our pan and put the turkey on it. We put it in the oven. It is 30 degrees hot in the oven. My dad plays angry birds and waits for the turkey to be done. We know when the turkey is done because we have a timer. It looks like a big circle when it is done. Daddy slices the turkey into pieces that we eat. It tastes like meat. Mmmmmm!

 

Tyler Cotner

Turkeys sometimes come from our woods. They walk there and then just live there. My dad shoots them with a gun. He’s very quiet when he does this. He shoots it only probably one time. I would shoot the turkey too but I don’t aim at it so good. My dad puts the turkey in his truck. First he finds the guts and throws them into a field. He cuts out the good parts and puts them in water. It stinks. My mom takes the stinky parts out and dumps them in a field too because they stink so bad. I guess we don’t have a turkey for thanksgiving because it is in the field in lots of parts.

 

Mason Lindauer

We buy our turkey at Bi-Lo. You could also get them in the woods if you wanted. Turkeys have long heads and long feet; they look funny but when we buy our turkey it only has skin and it looks burnt and cooked. We have to cook it again though because Bi-Lo keeps turkeys in the freezer so that it is cold for some reason. I get to pick out the turkey. I choose the one that is not all the way burnt. My mom drives the turkey all the way home. It doesn’t make any noise because it’s dead. We cut it up into real little pieces and put it in the oven. It stays in the oven for 5 minutes. The beeper goes off when it is done. I watch Sponge Bob while the turkey cooks because I like Sponge Bob a lot. When the turkey is done, we put it on the table and pray with our eyes closed. I like thanksgiving because my gram comes and brings heart chocolate. The turkey tastes better than the chocolate though.

 

Ian Jones

Thanksgiving is when you do nice things for people and eat turkey. You get the turkey from in the woods. It’s easy to kill them, because you can use a pitch fork. You wouldn’t put the turkey in your car because it is still bloody so you need a truck. You have to wash the turkey too, probably in the shower. You cut everything off except for the stomach, the legs, and the arms. You put the bad parts in the garbage. The garbage is horrible! You cook the legs and arms together. You cook them in the stove. Ya just shove them in there and turn a timer and wait for it to ding. I guess you could cook the stomach with the arms and legs. You have to wear a glove to cook or your hands will get hot. You put them on a plate. The arms and legs taste like chicken but the stomach tastes like food. Your grams and paps and mom and dad are all over. Everyone just eats. I like that day.

 

Alena Shaffer

My dad first shoots the turkey. He shoots it in the woods with a big gun. The turkey doesn’t seem him because he is looking another way so my dad just gets him in the head. Then my mom comes to the basement door to look at the dead turkey. I look at the turkey too. Then I use my toy gun to shoot it again just to make sure it’s really dead. First we cut the feathers off with scissors. Then we cut the gobble and the feet off – those go in the garden. We use the head for a toy gun; the bullets come out of the beak. I like cold turkey better so we just eat it and don’t cook it. My dad likes it warm, so he cooks it in the garden with the sun, I guess. My whole family eats with me: My mom, dad, my brothers; Buzz and Woody, my nanny,  my pop, and my grammy. My dad puts the knives out and I put out the spoons and my mom puts out the forks. We eat and we use napkins too!

Cameron Gomez

My Thanksgiving turkey comes out of a real turkey.  My turkey is a girl.  It comes out of a girl turkey (her belly).  When the turkey comes out of her belly, it is little.  The feet grow of out their skin, for real.  The turkey is not slimy.  It is just regular.  A baker by the name of Alajandro, takes the baby turkey to Alajandro city.  When he gets back to the city, Thanksgiving comes.   The baker puts the turkey in really hot water and spoils it.  After it spoils, they clean it with a soaked rag.  That’s all, period!

Dani Weller   

Thanksgiving turkeys go out in the woods to find really yummy food.  They look for squirrels, chickens, and ladybugs.  People who are guards (like cops) sometimes shoot turkeys.  Army men also shoot turkeys.  They wear camouflage clothes so that they can look like army men.  They look like army men because they are army men.  Army men eat more turkey every day because they love all chicken.  You have to wear the camouflage or your real clothes will get covered in mud, blood, and guts.  When they get the turkey, they hang it over the table.  The turkeys that come from the woods are already cooked because they have meat inside them.  The army men go back out to the woods and shoot more turkeys.  They will eat them for Thanksgiving dinner because they love chicken.  They will eat mashed potatoes and rolls.  There will be chickens in the woods everyday looking for ladybugs.        

Dohnavyn Warren

All turkeys come from the country of Lewisburg.  The turkey walks to the woods in Lewisburg from the town of Turkey.  I learned this from Good News Club.  When he gets to the woods, he meets a new friend.  His name is Gobble.  They play tag together.  It’s called gobble, gobble tag.   After playing tag, the turkeys get married because one is a girl and one is boy.  A bear, tiger, and goat come to the wedding.  Me, my Brother, and my Pappy go into the woods.  We do not shoot the married turkeys or the babies.  We can’t shoot the babies because they are not grownups yet.  We shoot a not-married turkey.  We know that he is not married because he is by himself.  After we shoot him, we use a big net to carry it back to the truck.  My Brother and my Pappy get it out of the truck.  The turkey is asleep because we shooted it.  We lay the turkey out on the floor.  My Pappy carries it into the stove.  Cook it for 5 minutes.  While the turkey is cooking, the feathers come off.  We throw them in the garbage.  We take out the bones and give them to my pet doggy. THE END.  

Courtney Park

My family celebrates Thanksgiving with corn.  We do not have a real turkey because we don’t like real turkey.  We do not have anything else except for corn.  My Mom makes the best corn.  She goes out to the garden and gets the corn.  My Gramps picks the corn for her because she won’t wear gloves.  She grabs it from him.  She does not run because she is too old.  She takes the corn inside and puts it in a hot pan.  She takes the corn wrappers off.  Cook the corn for 10 minutes.  Whenever it is done in the pan, she puts it on the grill.  When the corn turns yellow, put it on a plate.  We always have pizza with the corn.

Dylan Aunskt

My Daddy cooks turkey on Thanksgiving.  He has been doing it for 10 years because he hunts for turkey.  On November 3rd, he goes hunting in Watsontown.  Watsontown is part of the world.  He gets up at 10:00.  He goes into the woods with me.  I take my own bow.  My Daddy wears the same clothes as me because we are hunting.  We step onto the tree stand and the turkeys just come.  We shoot 5 turkeys.  We shoot them in a line.  We take the guts home.  When we got home, we throw them away very fast so that we can cook him fast.  We cook all 5 turkeys.  We pick the turkeys up and put them in the back of my Dad’s truck.  When we get home, we put them all in the oven.  We put turkey stuff on them so that they smell good.  Cook them for 5 minutes in the oven.  We just put steak on them and put them back in the oven for 5 minutes again.

Hunter Clark

My Mom and my Dad make turkey.  I like eating turkey.  My Dad shoots our turkey.  He goes to Africa to get the turkey.  He drives there.  It takes about 10 seconds to get there.  He parks his truck right where we stop (by a lake).  He sets up his tent.  He sets up a decoy to try and kill the turkey.  He calls the turkey in by making turkey voices.  He has turkey calls.  When he sees the turkey, he gets ready to shoot it.  He sometimes aims for the neck and the head.  The head always stays on because the bullet goes right through.  I don’t know why, but every time my Dad shoots a turkey the eyes go closed.  We let it sit for a little (like 2 hours).  We take it back to the truck and go home.  We usually shoot a big turkey (about like 10 pounds).   That’s big isn’t it? He sometimes puts it in a box and mails it to my Mom.  She waits until it gets dark to cook it for dinner.  My Mom feels good about my Dad shooting a turkey sometimes.  She gets a hot cloth with water and wipes the blood off.  Put the whole turkey in the microwave.  Cut the bones out.  

Cook it for 51 minutes.  Put some salt and a little pepper on it.  

Kyla Fausnaught

My Mom and my Aunt cook the turkey.  They go to Bilo and buy the potatoes.  They get the turkey there too.  The turkeys are dead.  They are in a little box (like chickens).  She looks for a big, fat turkey.  She goes to the register and buys the turkey and the potatoes.  The potatoes usually cost around 80 dollars.  The turkey was 9 dollars.  She takes the turkey out of the box and squeezes it really, really tight to take out the guts.  It was disgusting.  I almost threw up.  She puts it in the stove for 5 minutes.  She puts a little bit of salt on it cause it tastes a little bit disgusting.  She puts a little bit of mozzarella on it.  She puts the potatoes in the microwave for 3 minutes.    

Mason Hulsizer

My Mom rides the mower down to the woods with my Dad’s gun.  My Dad teaches her.  She wears my Dad’s camouflage shirt and hides in the trees.  She plays Angry Birds on her phone while she waits.  When she sees the turkey, she shuts her phone off and screams.  She shoots it.  The turkey falls on its head.  She picks it up and puts it on her shoulder.  She gets back on the mower and drives it back.  She tapes the turkey to the bottom of the mower.  The turkey goes in our garage.  She puts a tarp under it so it doesn’t get dirty.  She pulls it back inside and puts the turkey in oven.  She pulls the nails out of the turkey.  She stuffs the inside of the turkey with chicken.  Cook it for 5 minutes.  

Mackenzie Blair

My Dad calls hunters to get our turkey.  The hunters go in the woods to get it.  My Mom can’t do this because she is scared of hunting people.  Dad can’t do it because he is busy watching TV and sleeping because he is tired.  He pays like 99 million dollars for the turkey.  The hunter never told us his name.  He goes in the woods and shoots it.  My family only wants a girl turkey because we don’t like boy ones.  Boy turkeys will scratch you.  Only get a girl one! My Brother likes to pull off the hair.  My Dad has to cut off the legs.  My Dad and my Brother roll the turkey in salt.  We cook it outside on a stove that we borrowed from Gram’s house.  We wipe the smoke off of the turkey.  We put a couple sprinkles (like you put on ice cream) on the turkey.  

Elle Bowers

My Mom gets the turkey with Dad.  My Nana watches us at her house while Mom and Dad go to the store.  We can’t go with them.  My Brother is too busy and loud.  They go to the middle of the store.  The turkeys are in a cage.  They don’t even move.  Mom wants a big turkey.  They ask someone to get it out.  The worker puts it in a bag.  It’s still alive, but it does not move.  They put it in the back of the van.  The turkey still doesn’t move.  They get it out and put it in the oven.  They keep the feathers on the turkey so that they don’t fall off when it is cooking.   It gets dead in the oven from the hot.  My Dad doesn’t want it to get dead.  My Mom doesn’t really care.  Cook it a couple minutes on Sunday.  When it’s Thanksgiving Day, they get it out of the oven.

Ryan Foura

Turkeys can live anywhere.  They can live in leaves, nests, and the dirt.  My Dad probably shoots our turkey at America.  My Pap taught my Dad how to shoot.  He goes into the woods right by our house.  He goes into the woods wearing pretty much camouflage.  He walks down to the woods.  He keeps his gun right behind him (or in his pocket) so that nobody will see it.  He kneels down so that the turkey doesn’t see him.  Sometimes he hides behind a tree.  He stays still cause he doesn’t want the turkeys to see him.  If he finds one, he gets his trigger ready.  He does this very quietly.   When he finds it, he picks it ups.  He tries to find the bullet place.  He takes it home and carves it.  He puts it in the oven so we can eat it.  I would put a little pepper on it for it to be spicy.  Cook it for 2-6 minutes.

Derrick Smith

My Dad makes our Thanksgiving turkey.  He goes to farm in Florida for the turkey.  My whole family goes in his truck to Florida.  The farm is at Disney World.  We get out of the truck and play.  We go to a restaurant.  They have a thing that if you eat fast, you get a free turkey.  My Mom puts the turkey in a long pan.  My Dad holds the turkey in the truck so that it will not spill.  If it spilled, it would be all yucky.  It takes 1 hour to get home.  My Dad turns on “The Rollercoaster” song pretty loud.  We all sing it.  We take the turkey inside and that’s all! Disney World had Mickey Mouse cook the turkey.  We just eat it!

Austin Bryson

When I grow up (I will be 8 when I am grown up), I will shoot turkeys.  I feel bad about shooting turkeys when I’m only 5.  I won’t be afraid when I’m 6.   I go in the woods by a cabin.  I have seen this cabin before.  It is by an old trailer in the woods.  The cabin is filled with snakes that are dead.  When I go in the cabin, I see dead snakes.  I kick them out.  I go back outside to look at the tires around the cabin (they are all flat).  I take by gun with me.  I shoot only black turkeys.  I put it in the back trunk and drive to my dad’s house.  When I show it to him he says, it’s going to be cool because you might see blood.  I cut the head off, eat it, and cook it.  Put it on a pan and cook it for 40 hours at hot, hot degrees.  Put 6 drops of salt on the head of turkey.

Owen Reese

My Mom makes our turkey out of meat.  She goes to the store in her car to buy the meat.  She gets the meat (bacon).  She just uses bacon to make the turkey.  The bacon comes from deer.  My Mom hunts when we go to bed.  After we are asleep, she goes to the woods.  She wears her purple pajamas since it is bedtime.  My mom hides behind a tree and then shoots ten deer.  My Mom carries the deer out of the woods to the van.  She lays the deer on the ground and picks them up with a shovel.  She puts all the deer in our closet.  She takes the deer out of the closet and cooks them.  She puts them all in the oven one at a time.  She cooks them for one hour.  The deer turn into bacon.  She rolls the bacon into a turkey.  

Jayden Wood

We celebrate Thanksgiving by eating macaroni and cheese.  My family likes turkey, but I don’t.  They taste like they are alive.  If I had to cook the turkey, I would feel like I had to go to the bathroom and throw up because it smells disgusting.  When I grow up, I will not make turkey for my family.  I will just make macaroni and cheese (broccoli too).  I will tell you how to make it.  Put cheese in a pan.  Cook it for one day at Thanksgiving.  Go to Wal-Mart and buy the macaroni.  Put the macaroni in a bowl.  Pour the cheese on top.       

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