I’m calling time out this week for a few words about something entirely frivolous. 

I have a bone to pick with the way Hallmark Channel movies treat New York City.

I’ve never been shy about talking or writing about the fact that I am a NYC native.

For the record, I was born in Brooklyn, raised in Queens, went to college in the Bronx at Fordham University, had my first two jobs in this business in Manhattan and spent several weekends as a kid at the William H. Pouch Boy Scout Camp in Staten Island. 

OK. That last one is a reach, but I wanted to hit all five boroughs.

Though it’s been more than 40 years since I actually had a New York City address, I still consider myself a New Yorker and always will.

I’m certain some of you reading this don’t consider that a positive, but hey, home is where the heart is.

Until my mom passed away in 2006, I used to get back there pretty regularly. None of our four kids were born in “The City,” but they were raised to be comfortable there and still are. They, like me, are big Mets fans. Pre-virus, (Pre-virus-ly?) I made it back to NYC for at least one Mets game with some of them each year. 

Why am I going on about all this? Because due in part to staying home so much these days, I’m watching more Hallmark Christmas movies than ever.

In most of these movies, there’s a key character who has made or is about to make the misguided (according to Hallmark) choice to move to New York or some other large city.

A big promotion or job opportunity has brought — or threatens to bring — the male or female lead there. Sometimes, the always ill-fated fiancé comes from there. When he (it’s almost always a guy) visits the small town, he proves to be a square peg in a round hole. The engagement is doomed.

That’s because, in the world according to Hallmark, New York City and other large cities make people less happy than they could be. 

The main character with the big city address inevitably chooses to return to their small-town — places named Evergreen or Mountain Top. After all, good, kind, warm people only live in small towns, right?

Bah, humbug!

I have many terrific memories of Christmas in my very large home town. Believe it or not, we had friendly neighbors, drank hot cocoa, baked cookies, went out caroling, wrapped thoughtful presents and made special memories.

We had cute children — I have even been told I once was one.

We were not overrun by cold-hearted workaholics who always needed to have a big meeting with a big client on Christmas Eve. Santa came to our home on 76th Street in Queens, too.

As I write this I am feeling inspired. I think instead of watching these movies, I should write my own Hallmark movie script.

Spoiler alert. In mine, the wonderful smaller-town woman will come north, fall in love with a New York City guy, get married, have four kids and live happily ever after.

It could happen. In fact, it did — to my wife and me. But Hallmark would probably never buy it.

Wherever you come from, have a healthy and happy holiday season.

Email comments to dlyons@dailyitem.com.

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